Fear

I thought I was past this fear. One that grips my chest and takes control.

Bridges...

Driving down the road, rain falling, heading the wrong direction, the expressway ending. I find myself facing a bridge, one that the bend in the road had blocked from view. Fear floods my mind and my heart. What if the car slips on the road, it's wet after all. It's such a long way down, the bridge looks old. I wish I could close my eyes and open then at the end. My sons in the back seat sleeping through my white knuckle driving, lucky children. I grip the wheel, say a prayer and drive on over. Problem is that I had been going the wrong way and need to turn around to go back. The second bridge was not as kind, holding the wheel tight and praying didn't work this time. I should of taken the exit before the bridge and dealt with being lost. It would of been so much better then facing an unknown bridge again. We make it over, I thank God my boys are sleeping and can't hear me crying. I call my husband in hopes that he can calm my fears. All he can hear through my sobs are "bridge... afraid... don't know what to do..." Sitting on the side of the road, trying to pull myself together, bridges a mile or two behind me. The fear is strong... I hate bridges! I thought I could cope with bridges, I though the fear was unfounded and that I had dealt with it. Clearly not.