It's worked well for me these last few months. Sure, I've faced some of what is to come. There are so many more questions these days. Will my boys understand why their sister is different? Will they accept her as she is? Will they love her even on her bad days? How will she relate to this world? Will she be able to function in the outside world? Will she talk one day? How will we make it through the school years? How do you trust someone you don't know to care for your child who can't talk to you? Will she ever love someone outside of family? Will she get married one day? Will she have children? Would she be able to care for children? Will one of the boys have to take over her care when we die? Is that fair to ask them to do?
Why us? Is not a question I care to ask or have answered. Who has an answer for that anyway? Does it really matter why? Not much. Our children are loved beyond measure, maybe that is why. Yep, denial works for me. Avoiding all these questions, I can't answer even if I tried is working for me. But looking at my almost three year old child and seeing a large 18 month old is only going to work for so long. One day I will have to face that my child is behind in so many ways and she is only prefect to myself and my husband.
You don't have to answer any of these questions and it's so hard not to ask them. (I've been asking a lot of these questions myself lately). Your daughter is perfect to me, as far away as I am. She loves you, her daddy and brothers, she has the most beautiful hair and while she may have different needs in life she can still make your heart melt... sounds like a perfect child to me.
ReplyDeleteI love what Cate said. I think you are the perfect mom for the perfect child. What a blessing she is. I don't know why these things happen but I do believe that there is SOME reason that you won't understand for a long time. I know it's hard and it's frustrating to not have the answers to your questions. I admire all that you do for ALL of your kids. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteOnly god has those answers Danielle and all you can do is make him proud in his decisions and you are doing just that. I don't think he could be more proud of you, you are an awesome parent and Bella is very lucky to have you as her mom. As for the boys, sure they will probably get mad at her from time to time, but I bet they will be so protective of her and love her even more!
ReplyDeleteI think everyone said it well so for now I will just leave some ((((hugs))))
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