Alone Time... Are You Crazy?

A bath alone, oh the wonder and joy that would be! Sadly I haven't had one of those in years! Unless you count the 11pm baths I had to take to calm my pregnant legs down. Yet, I wasn't alone then either. I'd watch my stomach move in awe of the child inside, only able to sit a certain way out of fear I'd be unable to pull myself back out again.

Back to the story at hand, last night I thought, "I better get in the bath and shave if I ever want to have sex again" Yes, it had been awhile for shaving, not so long for sex. But my legs were well past the "he won't mind" stage and in the "Oh he's going to think he's sleeping with a bear!" stage. I had a plan, get all kids to sleep then take a bath. This has been the plan for a few nights, so I knew the chances of it playing out were slim. The back up plan was to wait for the oldest two to be in bed and take my chances with the baby. I was not prepared for how it would go, I thought my 4 year old, who has been fighting bed time lately, would make a show of having to go potty (the only reason he's allowed out of bed.) I didn't know I'd have a bathroom buddy the whole time I was in the tub. I slowly shaved my legs, hoping he'd be done and gone before I made it to the more womanly area that also needed some attending. All that did was result in questions and statements like "why are you shaving there? How does it take hair off" "When I'm older I'm going to shave my legs too" while I'm trying to tell him "You probably won't want to shave your legs dear, it's a pain to do and must boys don't" But he made it clear at 4 sitting on the potty an arms reach away he's going to shave his face and his legs when he's a grown man. I reach the point I've been dreading. I need to clean up the "lady zone" and he's still there. Claiming to be going potty. Do I kick him out and risk having to clean poop off of something after my bath or do I just deal with him being in the bathroom and shut the shower curtains? I decide to shut the curtain, seemed simple enough. Until he started to open it. I'm yelling at him "I don't want you watching me" and he's whining back "But I wanna watch" Finally he settles down after I threaten to kick him out and to give him the potty chair to finish on. I finish my stuff and take a short shower, only way to get a hot one in this house. So here I am still waiting for a relaxing bath...