Words that Haunt me

After our lost pregnancy, I was asked "Would you rather have a special needs child? It's better that you lost the pregnancy, what if something was wrong with the baby?" At that time I answered "Yes, I'd rather have a special needs child, then what I'm going through now" I thought, I'd never find myself in the shoes of a special needs Mother. But here I am, a special needs Mom and I have never been more blessed. My "special" child lights up the room, brings joy to my heart when it is heavy, has taught me so much, and has changed me. The lessons being a special needs Mom has taught me have been priceless. I am forever changed, I see people in a way I never did before. The grumpy old man is, more then likely, lonely after the loss of loved one. The angry cashier has dealt with rude people all day. The child playing alone only needs a friend to come play. Kindness is all anyone needs. A few minutes to stop and speak with the man, a smile and a thank you to the cashier, a few giggles with the child and my children can do wonders. Sure the extra time can mess up the schedule, can make me have to skip another task. But knowing that I may of helped to turn around someones day even if only for a second is worth putting off laundry until tomorrow.

I guess my point is, that those words hurt me. They didn't change me, I'll never forget them or how I felt when they were said. But today, I feel the same. Given the choice, I would pick my "special child" a million times over again.